DISCRIMINATION AT COUNTY FAIRS

According to mommy and daddy August is not just the month most sane people flee the heat and humidity of DC it is also the month of county fairs here in the mid Atlantic. Boy did they sound exciting…fried Snickers, fun houses, and farm animals. You can’t really top that troika.

All in all the fair was everything that mommy and daddy had promised. A day of clean (well clean-ish…we did spend an awful lot of time in less than sanitary smelling cow barns) family fun. We started by attending the Hambone Express piglet races, although there was a brief detour to sample corn dogs. Mom made a dubious claim that this was only the second corn dog in her life. I don’t mean to call mom out or anything, but the way that she approached that corn dog stand made me seriously doubt this claim.

The day took a turn for the worse though when mom, dad and I attempted to partake in the age old tradition of carny rides. (Don’t worry Cooper was being held by our friends Dan and Lil) There were several that I had my eye on for my virgin experience. I was itching to get on the “Freak Out” a super cool looking ride where you were spun around flipped upside down and generally just freaked out I suppose. Got to the front of the line only to find I didn’t meet the height requirement. I was a little disappointed but not daunted. We can try the Scrambler I thought. That doesn’t throw you upside down so maybe it has a more reasonable height requirement. No luck again. I could go on naming all the rides at the carny that wouldn’t let someone of my stature on, but it would take too long. Instead I will tell you which rides my vertically challenged-self was allowed on…Dizzy Dragons and Dunebuggy Dinosaurs (pictured here). Now having names with dragons and dinosaurs would seem to imply a ride fraught with excitement, but I will have you know that the d alliteration in both names was really just preparing the shorter set for a capital “D” dull ride.
I am currently designing a diet and exercise regime so that I can attain the extra 12 inches I need for full access to the rides at next year’s county fairs.